Communities

Today we set out a new chapter for Stonewall as we launch our 2021-5 Strategy: Free to Be.

It’s almost a year since I took up the role of Chief Executive here at Stonewall. I’ve had so many rich and powerful conversations with people from across the LGBTQ+ movement, both here in the UK and among our many global partners, about what matters to our communities, what change is desperately needed and how Stonewall can be a great activist and partner in the movement.

I’ve reflected a lot on what we need to do and be at Stonewall to fight for – and build support for – our communities.

At the heart of it, we at Stonewall believe that LGBTQ+ people have limitless potential, and we imagine a world where all LGBTQ+ people of all identities experience not only equal opportunities, but equitable outcomes. Where our governments, communities, faith institutions and families don’t merely allow us to exist, but actively shield us from harm and help us thrive.

To create the world we imagine, our new strategy focuses on three pillars: Freedom, Equity and Potential. And the only way that we can make real progress is by working in partnership across the movement, in the UK and globally.

Over the coming four years you can expect to see us can expect to see us working on:

Freedom

• A legally enforceable ban on conversion therapy
• Laws that help prevent hate crimes and support LGBTQ+ asylum claims
• Legal recognition for LGBTQ+ people and our relationships 

Equity

• Accessible and high-quality healthcare for all LGBTQ+ people
• Strengthening relationships with faith communities and communities of colour
• Supporting and represent LGBTQ+ people across our lives

Potential

• Expanding our workplace and empowerment programmes
• Championing LGBTQ+ inclusion in sport and schools
• Supporting Pride in all its forms

You might also notice that we look and sound a bit different. The wonderful and very clever Revolt (a purpose consultancy) and activist agency and Jones Knowles Ritchie (a design-led creative company) have helped us build a strong and clear message about who we are and what we stand for, alongside a fresh and confident new look. We have moved away from ‘Acceptance without Exception’ which no longer feels like the right focus for us. Today we stand for the freedom, equity and potential of all LGBTQ+ people.

We are so grateful to Revolt and Jones Knowles Ritchie for their generous support. And we are so grateful to the photographer Ally Schmaling, who has allowed us to use their beautiful portraits of LGBTQ+ people. We hope you love their work as much as we do.

So, now you know about the world that we imagine at Stonewall, I want to ask: do we imagine the same world?

If you can imagine a world where there is freedom, equity and limitless potential for every LGBTQ+ person, we want you to stand with us.

Whether you’ve supported us since 1989; you’re just coming out; you want to be a champion for your LGBTQ+ friends, relatives or colleagues; you’re concerned by the rise of anti-LGBTQ+ hate groups; you’ve felt overlooked by us in the past; you want to step up as a role model or leader – we can’t create the world we imagine, the world our communities deserve, without you. Join us.

With the deadline fast approaching for UK Black Pride’s inaugural survey of LGBTQI+ Black people and people of colour, we spoke to some of the incredible activists, organisers and creatives taking part to find our why it’s so important to be heard.

This survey has closed.

1. Kayza Rose

Kayza Rose (she/her) is a dynamic creative producer, artistic director, filmmaker, activist and cultural leader based in London, UK. For more than a decade, she has focused her work on creating change for Black and POC through a variety of editorial, creative and artistic endeavors for companies and community-based organisations.

What brings you joy?

Feeling like I’ve made some kind of impactful change, even if that change means being still in order to heal. My community. The wonderful friendships I have, and I also need to take a moment to acknowledge that my plants give me immense joy and comfort.

What are you most anticipating from the findings from the UK Black Pride survey?

Being introduced to siblings who we may not have connected with previously. Part of my role as Head of External Events at UK Black Pride is to see how we can connect in meaningful ways with our communities, especially those outside of London.

Why do you think it’s important to have your voice heard in this survey?

Black and POC folk are often left out of the national narrative, this survey is now part of our history. This survey can be used to give us a voice statistically, stats are often used to back up a case for funding and other support for specific groups. This is a chance to be heard and seen in ways we just haven’t been before. This is so powerful!

2. Aisha Shaibu

Aisha Shaibu, Head of Community Engagement at UK Black Pride. Aisha creates space and amplifies marginalised voices through various community projects across the globe. She is a rising entrepreneur tackling the lack of diversity in nightlife & the travel industry.

What brings you joy?

I find joy in the moments where I am able to connect with a diverse range of queer people in an inclusive and safe environment. But most of all my joy comes from when I am able to be visible & proud at work and whilst sharing the little moments in my life with my fiancée.

What are you most anticipating from the findings from the UK Black Pride survey?

I am anticipating that the survey will provide an in-depth report and analysis of our QTIPOC community across the UK like never before. We don't have enough data that highlights key issues about the experiences, lives and joy of LGBTQI+ Black people and people of colour living in the UK.

Why do you think it’s important to have your voice heard in this survey?

It is important to have our voices heard in this survey because for the first time I actually feel that a survey like this will make a difference. It will play a vital role in understanding our needs especially after the pandemic but also provide access to information on how our community can be better supported.

3. Tajah

Tajah is Senior International Programmes officer for Out of the Margins at Stonewall.

What brings you joy?

Dancing! It made me feel more in contact with my body at a time when all there was to do was to look at it and the way it changed during the pandemic.

What are you most anticipating from the findings from the UK Black Pride survey?

The affirmation that not having access to QTIPOC (Queer, trans, intersex people of colour) in person spaces has been really hard for others and not just me. I’d made the decision to live more openly in my queerness only a couple months before lockdown 1, and the lack of in person spaces has meant lack of access to meeting other QTIPOC. I’m hoping that these findings lead to more venues accommodating our community’s needs!

Why do you think it’s important to have your voice heard in this survey?

Because it’s still not the norm that when people think of the LGBTQ+ community, they think of people like us! The world needs to finally accept that QTIPOC come from all backgrounds and ways of life.

4. Liz Ward

Liz Ward (she/her) is Director of Programmes at Stonewall. She has spent her career working in the charity sector fighting for racial justice, equality and creating a world where everyone is free to be themselves. Find Liz on Twitter @lizmaryward either bigging up Marcus Rashford or ruminating on Women's football - with a healthy dose of social justice chat to boot.

Until recently, Liz had led The Advocacy Academy, the UK's only Social Justice Leadership programme, launching campaigns focusing on decolonising the curriculum, improved legal aid for students, tackling police brutality and creating spaces for religious queer kids of colour.

 What brings you joy?

I feel the most joy when I see others feeling joy. Maybe I should reframe that as love - as for me, joy is love. The liberating feeling of sharing space with your loved ones, expressing your needs openly and freely is joy-filling for me. I believe in that for marginalized people - joy is a radical act. I try to make sure I feel a little bit of joy every day, whether that's having the perfect cup of tea, holding hands with my girlfriend, or making an amazing sandwich - I celebrate the micro-joys of the average day.

What are you most anticipating from the findings from the UK Black Pride survey?

These last 12 months have been hard, and our community has unfairly suffered. I believe that many of us will be connected in this - the feelings of isolation, the anger. For Black Queer people, I believe many of us are connected in our struggles - feeling safe in public, coming out to family. There's something so deep that underpins the Black queer experience and feeling less alone in that struggle is empowering.

Why do you think it’s important to have your voice heard in this survey?

Our community is hardly ever listened to, that’s a fact. We have learnt to shout, because we had to. This survey gives us the chance to share our fears, worries, joys in a way UK Black Pride has never done before. Be sure to tell your story.

5. India Hosten-Hughes

India Hosten-Hughes (she/her) is a queer nerd of all things super-powered and magical.

What brings you joy?

I am an introvert and I really love down time and fully immersing myself in self-care. I find joy in finding inner peace and having a sound mind, even if that means a day of binging anime, washing my hair, and doing my nails, those are the days I absolutely adore.

What are you most anticipating from the findings from the UK Black Pride survey?

Growing up I didn’t know many Black or Asian LGBTQ+ people. I didn’t meet others like me until I became an adult, so I am intrigued to see how we feel we are represented, supported, and embraced today compared to so many years ago.

Why do you think it’s important to have your voice heard in this survey?

Education, health care and employers need to know if they are doing well supporting us or if they are failing. Our intersectional lived experiences are unique and there are large gaps in key areas that could support Queer, Trans, Intersex, Bi people of colour (QTIBPOC).

This survey has closed.

The findings from this survey will help inform the first UK Black Pride Community Action Plan, through which funding will be distributed to communities. Have your voice heard and help determine UK Black Pride continue to make a lasting impact on the LGBTQI+ Black people and people of colour they represent.

This Pride Month, we’re inviting members of our wonderfully diverse community to speak up on why we’re #ProuderTogether. 

To kick things off, Prishita Maheshwari-Aplin, Stonewall’s Storytelling Lead, reminds us that pride began as a protest – and while we’ve come a long way, there’s still a long way to go before LGBTQ+ people have true equality.

Pride is a time for the LGBTQ+ community to come together and celebrate. We have so much to be proud of – from our resilience to our capacity for love. And this season encourages us to celebrate ourselves, our identities, and all that we have won so far.

But Pride is also a protest. 

We must take this time to remember that there is still progress to be made, and that social injustice remains a reality for many of us.

With an increase in transphobia, continued persecution of LGBTQ+ people across the world, and ever-present racism even within the LGBTQ+ community, we must continue to work together towards a better future for everyone in our communities. We are seeing ever-increasing number of organisations turning rainbow-coloured to mark Pride as this month gains visibility and attention, but this alone does not represent equality – centring and uplifting community actions and organisations remains vital.

Because Pride is a time to use our voices and speak up in solidating with all members of our beautiful, diverse, global community. 

It’s worth remembering that the first ever Pride was a march, not a parade. It was called the Christopher Street Liberation March, and it marked a year since the 1969 Stonewall Uprising in New York. The uprising was a series of community-led violent rebellions in response to consistent, targeted harassment by the police. These rebellions set in motion many protests and campaigns that ultimately led to important wins for the LGBTQ+ community in the West. But in 2021, the fight is far from over.

The past year has made clear the importance of protest and solidarity.

Solidarity is not a noun but a verb – it is a recognition of the fact that when marginalised communities channel our collective power, we are stronger than ever.

Recently, we’ve seen the Black Lives Matter movement spreading across the world, hundreds of thousands speaking up for Palestine, thousands in the UK gathering at #KillTheBill protests, and 200 community members demanding Lakhvir Singh and Chef Sumit Sehdev’s release from immigration detention back into their homes Pollokshields, Glasgow. Global and local movements such as these have shown that, when raised together, our voices still hold great power.

So this Pride, let’s remember that none of us are free until all of us are free. And let’s raise our voices until we have built a brighter, safer future for those of us who are most marginalised and exploited.

Pride events across the UK

Pride events, protests and rallies are being organised by local LGBTQ+ community organisations across the UK. Why not attend to show your support for their work and to speak up for your rights?

Pride for All - Pink News: 08 June

Bi Pride (Bi-Fi Fest): 19 June

London Trans Pride: 26 June

Orkney Pride: 26 June

UK Black Pride: 02 July

Southend Pride: 17 July

Trans Pride Brighton: 17 July

Forest Gayte Pride: 14 August

Glitter Cymru: 14 August

Tamworth Pride: 18 August

Pride in London: 11 September

Bi Pride: 18 Sep

Burnt Roti (Middlesex Pride): 26 September

Attending Pride safely

When organising and attending in-person events, it’s important to ensure our own and others’ safety.

Always follow Covid-19 government guidelines, wear masks, and carry hand sanitiser.

If you’re attending a protest, make sure to read the advice provided by community organisations below in order to keep yourself and those around you safe.

Green and Black Cross

5 key messages to know your rights on protests.

Black Protest Legal Support

Bust card information for legal support at protests part 1.

Bust card information for legal support at protests part 2.

During Pride we’re celebrating the ways we are #ProuderTogether. So Gayathiri also highlights the work of another organisation making an impact in LGBTQ+ communities.

Decolonising Contraception (DC), founded by Dr Annabel Sowemimo in 2018 is an interdisciplinary collective of Black people and people of colour, working to address sexual health inequalities experienced by our communities due to colonisation. We do this through workshop facilitation, campaigning and providing safer spaces for our communities to support one another. It’s central to our work that every month is Black History Month and every month is Pride Month.

Decolonising ... is how we undo the damage done by colonisation.

‘Decolonising' (decolonising, because it is a continuous process) is how we undo the damage done by colonisation. It is about trying to understand and give voice to cultures, languages and identities that have been brutally criminalised and erased. For example, within school and community workshops we discuss decolonising ‘beauty standards’ and the dismantling of the idea that white skin = ideal. We unpack critical questions such as, ‘who creates our definition of beauty?’ and ‘what if we weren’t penalised for dressing and expressing ourselves according to what felt right to us?’ 

DC’s ‘Decolonising Gender and Sexuality’ workshop is another example of how tailored information can bring about self-advocacy skills.  We speak about how colonialism cemented the gender binary and criminalised gender non-conformity and queerness in parts of Africa and Asia in the 19th century. And that due to colonisation, these diasporic communities absorbed an imported homophobia which takes work to unlearn.

It’s important to know that your gender and sexuality are yours to explore and define.

We talk about how it’s important to know that your gender and sexuality are yours to explore and define. That they do not belong to anyone else, and that other people do not have the right to pass on your private information. That you never have to 'come out' if it's not safe or beneficial to you. That ‘coming out' and 'being proud' is not a moral action you have to perform. That there are visible BPOC, queer people around us, but that you don’t have to be one unless you want to. Indeed, for many BPOC folk, inviting family and our communities in on our queer lives is not an option if we also want to maintain ties, and have emotional, financial and housing security. This is not unique to the queer-BPOC experience. But the idea of being selective about who you invite in, isn’t always validated within ‘mainstream’, queer circles.

As those who are underserved by healthcare too, it’s important for BPOC to be able to advocate for better treatment. We want our communities to know that they can get (sexual) health treatment and advice confidentially, that they can go back and ask about different options for treatment and that they can ask for a different doctor if they feel unfairly treated. Knowledge and access to all the above is a basic human right. Speaking to Paula Akpan for Daye, Dr Sowemimo says, ‘we should expect medical professionals to be treating us the same way clinically but that is not happening. In the interim, we have to devise strategies within our own communities that enable people to have better health literacy.’

In 2020, DC started a podcast series entitled ‘The Sex Agenda’ to discuss all things BPOC sexual health. Episodes have explored issues including, ‘Reproductive Justice’, ‘Fetishisation of East Asian Women ’ and ‘Black Fatherhood’ In September 2020, DC was named Grassroots Organisation of the year by Brook and SH:24‘s Sexual Health Awards. By equipping our communities with decolonising, critical thinking and self-advocacy tools we aim to offer some form of resistance to systemic oppression.

An organisation I’d like to celebrate is Land In Our Names (LION.)  LION aims to disrupt oppressive land dynamics relating to BPOC communities in Britain within a Reparative Justice framework. ‘[They] address land justice as a centre point for issues around food insecurity, health inequalities, environmental injustice & widespread disconnect from nature.’ It’s crucial that we recognise the interconnected nature of systemic oppressions, racial-capital-land-environmental-reproductive injustices define and uphold one another. Across movements and sectors, our work for liberation is and will continue to be bound together.

Find out more about Decolonising Contraception and support their work on their website or on Instagram. Find Gayathiri’s Instagram here.

There are a number of organisations out there offering support if you need it. Check out the organisations and resources Gayathiri recommends below.

During Pride, we are celebrating the ways we are #ProuderTogether. 

Nic from the Scottish Bi+ Network talks about intersectionality in the bi community, and how you can get involved with the network’s activities.

The Scottish Bi+ Network began in 2018, becoming a constituted group in 2019.

Our aims are to raise bi+ visibility and increase awareness of the issues facing the bi+ community, both in the LGBTQIA+ community itself, and with the public. We are Scotland’s main voluntary-run organisation for anyone attracted to multiple genders. We organise events, liaise with other organisations, take part in Prides, and provide online support. As Covid restrictions ease, we hope to help in-person bi+ groups start up around the country to provide in-person peer support and social activities. We’d love to hear from anyone who wants a bi+ group in their area - we can provide some financial support, practical help, and training, but we need people in the area to sustain a group!

Since the pandemic began, we have moved our activities online. We have active social media, and our Discord server is proving very popular!  We have multiple channels, including neurodiverse, events, games, links/info, and regional channels to help people find others near them. We keep the Discord relatively private to ensure safety - this has worked very well so far, and we’ve had no problems. We’re happy to give the link to anyone who asks for it though, and love to welcome new people - just contact us by email/social media!  People are finding the Discord to be a good source of peer support as well as being a social space.

We’ve had several day-long online Bi+ Gatherings which have been well-attended not only by people in Scotland, but throughout the UK, Europe and beyond. These events have been a mixture of workshops, talks and social events, covering everything from a workshop with internationally renowned bi activist Robyn Ochs to juggling!

Our next major event is ... BiTastic.

Our next major event is a partnership with the Equality Network and Stonewall Scotland - BiTastic. This will be a multi-day online event in September, our biggest event to date Get in touch if you’d like to facilitate a workshop/session - it doesn’t need to be bi+ related, just of interest to our community - we want a full range of activities in the programme.

We know that as well as our bi+ identity many of us have other identities which are important to us.

Intersectionality is huge in our community. We know that as well as our bi+ identity many of us have other identities which are important to us - whether that be that we are BAME, disabled, neurodiverse, trans/non-binary. We may face discrimination due to our religion or our class background.  At Scottish Bi+ Network we aim to recognise this and make our spaces (physical and online) safe spaces, where people can be their true authentic selves and don’t have to hide any part of their identity or being. 

As part of that, we’ve recognised that many who interact with our services are neurodiverse. This led to us developing a neurodiverse area within our Discord for peer support, socialisation and sharing links, tips, and resources. This area is open to anyone who identifies as neurodiverse whether formally diagnosed or not, and includes a wide range of neurodivergence including autism, ADHD, dyspraxia, sensory processing difficulties, and dyslexia. We have a monthly neurodiverse meetup on Zoom on the 2nd Sunday of each month, where we have a “starting topic” (chosen by the group) to allow the group to work together and collaborate on ways to help things they struggle with, as well as generally socialise in a safe space with other neurodiverse bi+ people. Both this meetup and the neurodiverse channel on Discord are peer-support spaces but are facilitated and moderated by a neurodiverse person (me!).

Providing we have appropriate volunteers to moderate and ensure safe spaces, we would be happy to expand and have other meetup groups and Discord channels for other intersectional identities - we are always happy to grow and meet the needs of our community! The power of this peer support network cannot be underestimated, particularly as a community who suffer erasure and high rates of physical and mental poor health.

As an individual, I feel proud to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community. I’ve always felt “different” and never really fitted into mainstream society. The LGBTQ+ community (particularly the bi+ community) have really embraced me for who I am - quirks, disabilities, neurodivergence and all. I’ve finally found my community and am accepted. I am home. Obviously, I credit Scottish Bi+ Network as having a pivotal role in that!  As a community we make up the biggest proportion of the LGBTQ+ umbrella, and as an organisation we’re proud of that.

As a small organisation we are continually looking for more people to get involved, and to let us know what the community wants and needs! This could be as little as 1.5 hours every 2 months as a committee member. Our AGM is coming up very soon, and we will have spaces for new members - email contact@scottishbinet.org to find out more! No experience is necessary, just a desire to help with ideas and suggestions. We recognise our community is more likely than many to be affected by disability or caring responsibilities. As such we have a generous expenses policy as we aim to remove financial barriers to volunteering. Speak to us in confidence to find out more.

Content warning: sex, sexual coercion

During Pride, we are celebrating the ways we are #ProuderTogether. Michael from AVEN talks about the importance of including ace identities in the LGBTQ+ community, and the importance of amplifying diverse ace voices.

AVEN - the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (asexuality.org) - was founded in 2001 by David Jay of San Francisco with two distinct objectives: to get asexuality recognised as a legitimate sexual orientation, and to build a supportive community of asexuals (also known as “aces”) and allies. As an orientation, asexuality signifies those who experience little or no sexual attraction. Some also understand asexuality in terms of lack of sexual desire. Unlike celibacy, asexuality is not a choice, and indeed some asexual people do have sex. Much like other orientations, asexuality is not about behaviour but about how you feel.

As an orientation, asexuality signifies those who experience little or no sexual attraction.

Asexuality is relatively new as a recognised orientation, most awareness only happening in the last couple of decades. When I was at university 20 years ago, the Pride society styled itself as “lesbigay”. Trans inclusion still was apparently not a settled matter, and asexuality wasn’t even on their radar at this point. This experience is typical.

And yet we’ve always been out there. There are countless stories of folks inventing the word “asexual” for themselves (sometimes “non-sexual”), at a time when this term was predominantly found in biology texts as a means of reproduction. A famous study by Bogaert (2004) estimated the prevalence of those who do not experience sexual attraction at 1%, based on a UK survey taken in the 90s, again long before there was a community.

Perhaps part of the reason asexuality was recognised comparatively late, and not included in the LGBTQ+ umbrella till recently, is the lack of organised opposition, unlike other parts of the spectrum. Obviously, while gay sex was criminalised relatively recent history in many countries including the UK, there were never any laws prohibiting not having sex (though the pressure on aces to have sex within marriage, and more generally to have sex based on peer pressure, is very real).

While traditional religion has been opposed to the expression of most LGBTQ+ identities, its stance on asexuality has often been mixed. On the one hand there’s “be fruitful and multiply”, and on the other asexuality is often confused with celibacy, which is sometimes allowed or even sometimes encouraged within religion.

That said, in spite of some of the differences, I feel we have a lot in common with the LGBTQ+ community. The feeling of brokenness, of not living up to expectations, is one many or most aces share with the wider community. Some aces experience homophobia precisely because asexuality isn’t recognised as different to gay (“if you’re not into one, you must be into the other”). Plus there are very important intersections; many aces are romantically attracted to the same gender, and a lot of aces are trans and especially non-binary.

One particularly important objective ... at the moment is to amplify diverse voices.

There is much left to be done in terms of ace recognition and awareness, but one particularly important objective the ace community has at the moment is to amplify diverse voices, especially those aces who have historically had less coverage, for example older aces, disabled aces and ethnic minority aces (in the West).

In the last regard, Yasmin Benoit, a Black ace model and activist from the UK, has been doing amazing work recently, using her platform both to centre marginalised voices, and to bring awareness to the ace community as a whole. There are many other activists doing sterling work, of which there are too many to name.

Finally, I’d like to comment on the global aspect of the ace community. Traditionally much of the awareness and recognition of asexuality has been from Western, English speaking countries, and this is finally now changing, in large part thanks to local ace organisations popping up throughout the world, all of whom are doing amazing work bringing awareness of asexuality in their countries.

A recent effort called International Asexuality Day - held for the first time on 6 April 2021, and the same date in subsequent years - brought together activist organisations from over 100 different countries, with the objective of bringing awareness to asexuality around the world, with the emphasis on non-Western and/or non-English speaking countries. You can find information about the different ace groups represented around the world, as well as watch panel discussions covering ace experiences in different countries, on the website.

Asexuality is finally getting the recognition it is due, both in the UK and internationally, though there is still much work to be done. We hope the LGBTQ+ community will join us on this journey, and in return that aces can be good allies to the rest of the spectrum. Happy Pride all!

During Pride Season, we are celebrating the ways we are #ProuderTogether. 

Deenah from Hidayah talks about how the organisation provides visibility, information and community support to queer Muslims.

'Beautifully led by and for LGBTQ+ Muslims, with news, stories, links to other parts of the queer community such as film festivals and spoken word events, I happily recommend Hidayah to anyone who seeks an intersectional view of sexual orientation/gender identity and faith. In the few years of my knowledge of their work and their amazing leaders, it is wonderful to see them grow in support, grow in numbers and grow in opportunity, especially since becoming a charity."  Steven (teacher in Mearns Castle High School, Scotland).

I volunteer for Hidayah, an organisation dedicated to queer Muslims. Its existence and the extent to which it champions LGBTQ Muslims feels truly revolutionary, because it challenges the common misperception that Islam is inherently oppressive. This idea can be incredibly harmful to LGBTQ Muslims like myself because it insinuates being queer and being Muslim as mutually exclusive, not two parts of an identity that can coexist harmoniously. With the rampant Islamophobia and racism that Muslims can face in the West, it is easy for queer Muslims to feel alone, not heard or seen the way we want to be by the world.

Hidayah's existence and the extent to which it champions LGBTQ Muslims feels truly revolutionary.

Hidayah means “guidance” in Arabic. To start with, that means telling wider society, “Hey, we exist too!” The charity also aims to set the record straight (no pun intended) - with resources on how Islam is compatible with being LGBTQ, by empowering queer Muslims and allies in pushing the world in a more progressive, accepting direction.

Hidayah attained charity status in 2020, but it’s been providing visibility, information, and community support to queer Muslims for years. Whether through film festivals, other radio shows (including the BBC), a sold-out conference, podcasts or documentaries, Hidayah continues to amplify the voices that are so often silenced by society. 

I was asked to get involved with Hidayah last year after our Chair, Shelina, read my articles on being a queer Muslim and reached out. Since then, I've spoken at several panels, including Lancashire LGBT and PrideCymru, and on Shoutout Radio. I’ve hosted the screening of a docufilm, Gayrabia.

As a closeted lesbian, I initially struggled to speak up about queer matters. We’re not able to shout the loudest and we’re often misunderstood by others in the queer community. There’s an understandable hesitancy among queer people towards religion, given that orthodox religious institutions - not just Islam - tend to exclude queer people of faith. My lack of visibility is part of the reason I initially fell through the gaps.

But this is a conundrum my colleagues at Hidayah are familiar with. It's why I can host events with my camera off and have the risk of being outed taken seriously. My invisibility has never stood in the way of providing me and other queer Muslims with the community support that we clearly need.

The idea of having a found family is gloriously queer, but it’s also a source of solace and comfort for queer Muslims.

The idea of having a found family is gloriously queer, but it’s also a source of solace and comfort for queer Muslims who have been rejected by their families. My found family gives me a unique sense of solidarity that you’d be hard-pressed to replicate elsewhere. They cheer me on in my endeavours as a journalist, much of which is centred around queer matters. They share my work and give me the validation that I can’t get from family members, none of whom I am out to.

I feel like I finally found my tribe. There is such a deep sense of belonging, to be among queers and feel like I fit in, rather than being the odd one out, the only hijabi drinking orange juice in the room, or the sole brown face in a sea of white. It’s why I want to celebrate the minorities within queer spaces - from Black trans women (including those who were part of the Stonewall riots!) to nonbinary disabled people and more broadly, queer people of colour. The majority of queer Muslims are also POC, and this means encountering multiple barriers and exclusion is infuriatingly common.

Hidayah has enabled me to realise my full potential as a vocal activist, fighting for intersectionality, acceptance and inclusion.

Joining Hidayah has helped me feel true pride in every part of my identity, while also giving me a sincere sense of purpose when I needed it most. Hidayah has enabled me to realise my full potential as a vocal activist, fighting for intersectionality, acceptance and inclusion in queer spaces - not just as a moral imperative but a spiritual one. At its heart, Islam is about supporting the marginalised and vulnerable in society, and that is exactly what I plan on continuing to do.

Follow Deenah on Twitter: @DeenahAlAqsa

Hidayah’s website. Hidayah's socials: Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

What does it mean to be non-binary? For me, it means freedom and joy.

To be non-binary is to exist outside of society’s confines and expectations. It’s to look at the world around me and to challenge its restrictive rules. To know that my existence is expansive and cannot be contained. Angela Davis said: ‘You have to act as if it were possible to radically transform the world. And you have to do it all the time.' Being non-binary allows me to act as if it were possible to exist in a world not broken into two binary genders. It allows me to imagine a world where my gender is not weaponised against me, but celebrated as an aspect of my multi-faceted being – and it allows me to do this all the time.

Being non-binary opens a world of possibilities.

Being non-binary opens a world of possibilities – both for the ways in which we express ourselves and the ways in which we interact with those around us. A common misconception is that all non-binary identities sit somewhere in the middle of male and female, and that if you’re non-binary you’ll fit neatly into a box labelled ‘androgynous’. But this really isn’t the case – and one of the most liberating things about being non-binary is that there are no set rules around how you express or experience your gender. Your gender might occupy many different spaces in a large colourful circle around the linear binary existence, it might shift and change daily, or it might feel non-existent.

Society consistently erases the non-binary existence.

But while being non-binary allows me to play with gender, laugh at my own physical entity, and occupy as much space as feels most comfortable, I’m also forced to confront the fact that others will perceive me as gendered whether I like it or not, and that there are very real barriers that stop me from having my identity recognised in society.

Currently in the UK, non-binary people don’t have legal recognition. This means having to choose ‘male’ or ‘female’ on official documents like passports, driving licences, marriage certificates, and even, for those of us who medically transition, on our Gender Recognition Certificates. Add to this the daily decisions we’re forced to make around places like bathrooms and changing rooms, and the fact that we’re prescribed binary gendered labels by strangers who look at our bodies, clothes, hair – or hear our voices – and decide whether to address us as ‘sir or ‘madam’. Society consistently erases the non-binary existence and tells us that we’re merely an inconvenience.

So what’s the solution? Unsurprisingly, there’s no simple answer.

Recently, a petition to make non-binary a legally recognised gender identity in the UK received over 138,000 signatures. Some have raised concerns about how this might impact our safety – for example if individuals with non-binary gender markers on their passports wanted to travel to countries with anti-LGBTQ+ laws. There are also questions around whether asking to be included within a system that is inherently oppressive legitimises it.

At the same time, it’s clear that something fundamental needs to change if non-binary people’s identities are to be validated in our society. Alongside calls for legal recognition, others have suggested that a better route may be to remove gender markers on documents altogether. They argue that this would put everyone on an equal footing, rather than simply turning a restrictive two-box system into slightly less restrictive three-box system.

I still dream of a world where gender is not a chore, but a celebration.

A recent, heartening ruling found that non-binary people could be protected by the Equality Act. These logistical wins are significant – with them comes a certain level of acceptance that makes it easier for non-binary people to navigate life on a day-to-day basis. But I still dream of a world where gender is not a chore, but a celebration; where the status quo is not one where we must fight daily simply to be included, but one where the diversity of the human existence is woven into the fabric of society. We must continue working to dismantle the binary categories that restrict all of us, and throw the boxes in the recycling bin where they belong.

Want to know how to be a better ally to non-binary people? We've written our top tips in this article.

What does non-binary refer to?

Non-binary is an umbrella term for people whose gender identity doesn’t sit comfortably with ‘man’ or ‘woman’. Non-binary identities are varied and can include people who identify with some aspects of binary identities, while others reject them entirely.

Non-binary people can feel that their gender identity and gender experience involves being both a man and a woman, or that it is fluid, in between, or completely outside of that binary.

Is non-binary the same as trans?

No. While the term trans generally encompasses people whose gender is not the same as, or does not sit comfortably with, the sex they were assigned at birth, some non-binary people don’t see themselves as trans. It’s always important to respect the language someone uses to define themselves.

Trans people may describe themselves using one or more of a wide variety of terms, including (but not limited to) transgender, transsexual, gender-queer (GQ), gender-fluid, non-binary, gender-variant, crossdresser, genderless, agender, nongender, third gender, bi-gender, trans man, trans woman, trans masculine, trans feminine and neutrois.

While non-binary and trans are not the same, there are some shared experiences and similar elements, one of which is the importance of allyship. Whether someone is non-binary, trans, or both, being a good ally means listening, using the correct language, and supporting people in how they choose to express themselves and identify.

Gender identity vs gender expression

In order to understand non-binary gender identities better, it’s vital to understand the difference between gender identity and gender expression.

Gender identity refers to a person’s clear sense of their own gender. This is not something which is governed by a person’s physical attributes. Gender expression is how you express yourself and just like everyone else, non-binary people have all sorts of ways to express themselves and their identity. They can present as masculine, feminine or in another way and this can change over time, but none of these expressions make their identity any less valid or worthy of respect.

What can I do to step up as an ally to trans and non-binary people?

There are many ways to be inclusive of everyone, regardless of their gender identity. Our language and the way we speak is often embedded with hidden gendered cues.

Once we start to notice them, we can move towards using language that’s inclusive for all. Here are 10 tips you can start using right away!

1. Introduce yourself with your name and pronouns. Stating your pronouns reminds people that it might not always be immediately obvious what pronouns someone uses
2. Put your pronouns in your email signature or social media profile
3. Instead of addressing groups of people with binary language such as ‘ladies and gentlemen’, try more inclusive alternatives such as ‘folks’, ‘pals’ or ‘everyone’
4. Use words that define the relationship instead of the relationship and gender. For example, use ‘parents’, ‘partner’, ‘children’ or ‘siblings’
5. Not everyone is comfortable with gendered titles such as ‘Ms’ or ‘Mr’. Titles are not always necessary, but if they must be used it’s good to provide alternative ones such as ‘Mx’ (pronounced mix or mux)
6. Use the singular ‘their’ instead of ‘his/her’ in letters and other forms of writing, i.e. ‘when a colleague finishes their work’ as opposed to ‘when a colleague finishes his/her work’
7. Not everyone necessarily uses ‘he’ or ‘she’ pronouns, and it’s important to be respectful of people who use different pronouns. The most common gender-neutral pronoun is the singular ‘they’ (they/them/theirs). Using people’s correct pronouns shows that you respect them and who they are
8. Using the pronoun ‘they’ is very useful when someone’s gender or identity is unknown. You will often already be using it without realising, i.e. ‘somebody left their hat, I wonder if they will come back to get it’
9. Make sure that your workplace, school and college policies and documents use inclusive language, i.e. using ‘they’ instead of ‘he/she’ and avoiding sentences that imply two genders. Where specifically talking about gender identity, make sure it is inclusive of non-binary gender identities and not just trans men and trans women
10. When highlighting LGBTQ+ people in your events or as role models, make sure you include some non-binary role models too

It may take a bit of getting used to, but it causes you no harm, and it will make that person feel acknowledged and valid.

Most of this article is an excerpt of one of our school resources “Celebrating difference and building belonging”, written in collaboration with Owl Fisher, a non-binary activist and film-maker.

How can we create a better world for LGBTQ+ people?

A newly released collection of stories and essays, We Can Do Better Than This: 35 Voices on the Future of LGBTQ+ Rights, tackles the question by giving voice to LGBTQ+ activists and creatives from across the globe – including countries where prejudice and stigma around LGBT people are still very much prevalent.

But this is a book of solutions, not problems. Each of the 35 voices featured within challenge our view of the world, and collectively they explore the ways in which we can create a world where all LGBTQ+ people can be free to be themselves – one where they can not only survive, but also thrive. Compiled and edited by journalist Amelia Abraham, this book takes us on a journey through six overarching themes – safety; visibility; dating, love and family; health and social care; beyond the binary; and community and organising – to make us think more deeply about the future of LGBTQ+ rights and to inspire positive change within our communities. Following on from Amelia’s first book, Queer Intentions: A (Personal) Journey Through LGBTQ+ Culture, the book also uplifts the diverse voices of our community to educate and motivate.

Tom/Crystal Rasmussen, author of Diary of a Drag Queen, shares their experiences with wearing make-up in public places as a queer person; while Phyll Opoku-Gyimah (Lady Phyll), co-founder of UK Black Pride, writes about how her ancestors’ resilience inspires her activism. Activist Mazharul Islam explores LGBTQ+ rights in Bangladesh; and writer Travis Alabanza imagines the joys – but also the peace – of a world free from gender policing. Through using vulnerability, reflection. Discussion. Reflection, and good humour, all 35 contributors imagine a better future for the LGBTQ+ community and provide guidance on how best we can get there, together.

We spoke with Amelia Abraham about her experiences of compiling her new book.

1. Many people can look at the rainbow-coloured logos of their favourite brands or see photos from corporate Prides across the world and think we don’t need Pride any longer. How do you challenge this narrative through your book?

Corporate acceptance can be very divisive. Some people view it as positive visibility, others think that it dissolves the political messages of Pride; some corporate Pride activities raise huge amounts of money for LGBTQ+ causes, which is great, others equate to what we might call pinkwashing. I explore this tension in my first book, Queer Intentions: A (Personal) Journey Through LGBTQ+ Culture – there’s a whole chapter where I travel to Pride events across Europe to look at the commercialisation of Pride. At Prides like Berlin and Amsterdam, there is a lot of corporate presence in the form of logos and branded campaigns, but in Serbia, there is no corporate sponsorship because businesses don’t want to be affiliated with the LGBTQ+ community within a wider anti-LGBTQ+ climate.

We haven’t come as far as we might think.

In this sense, we can see that corporate Pride does demonstrate relative acceptance, however this still doesn’t actually mean our most urgent needs are being met. We Can Do Better Than This is a collection of stories all about what still needs to change to make life better for LGBTQ+ people – from better trans media representation and healthcare, to ending HIV stigma, to third gender options on passports – and it shows there is so much more to do. I think the book demonstrates that we haven’t come as far as we might think in terms of ‘LGBTQ+ equality’ and that we therefore need Pride more than ever, as a moment for visibility, protest and general awareness raising.

2. Why was it important for you to include voices from the global LGBTQ+ community?

In places like Bangladesh and Nigeria, where some of the contributors come from, homosexuality is still criminalised. As Mazharul Islam writes, the criminalisation of homosexuality sends out a societal message that queer people should be punished for being who they are. This increases the threat of violence. Then, when that violence occurs, you cannot go to the authorities in case you are arrested.

It’s really important to hear from queer people in other parts of the world.

The lack of safety occurs as a cycle and one that must be broken – not just through decriminalisation, but through education, visibility, organising. So I think it’s really important to hear from queer people in other parts of the world in order to learn more about their experiences and remind ourselves that we are part of a bigger, global, LGBTQ+ family, as well as to then facilitate the sharing of information, support and finances – a kind of global solidarity.

3. You say in your introduction that you chose the contributors because they are all ‘fabulous’, and link this thinking to madison moore’s book. Could you expand on what this means to you?

madison moore wrote an amazing book called Fabulous: Rise of the Beautiful Eccentric all about how queer people and particularly the most marginalised queer people – like gender nonconforming people and queer people of colour – harness style and ingenuity as a mode of political resistance. Think ballroom culture, for example. It’s all about thriving and being creative in a world that tells you that you shouldn’t exist – fabulousness as protest, a way of taking up space and refusing to be erased.

I think this applies to all the contributors, and actually most queer people I know!

4. What do you think are the links between 'everyday, interpersonal gestures and change on a much broader scale', as you write in your introduction?

I think to improve life for LGBTQ+ people we need incremental or individual change coupled with top-level change. So for instance, when it comes to improving the inclusion of the non-binary community, we need people to understand and use they/them pronouns on an interpersonal level and a gender-neutral option to be made available on passports, say. Both changes, to me, indicate base level respect and recognition.

I think everyday and broader changes also hopefully beget one another – if non-binary people were acknowledged by the government, then more people might accept that gender-neutral pronouns are here to stay. Vice versa, if more people made the effort to be inclusive with language and behaviour – in the workplace, schools etc – it might one hopefully one day lead to a society in which institutions do not constantly operate on the presumption of binary gender.

I hope We Can Do Better Than This is full of dozens of practical suggestions – bigger, and smaller – for changes we can make.

5. This year, our Pride campaign is all about our community being Prouder Together. What do you think is the importance of community, solidarity, and teamwork in achieving equality and liberation for the LGBTQ+ community worldwide? How does your book demonstrate this?

I think by assembling so many LGBTQ+ voices side by side, it draws new connections between our experiences. I also hope that the bigger voices – Olly Alexander and Lady Phyll etc – will draw people in to the unexpected stories from lesser known activists.

We Can Do Better Than This is also full of stories about how community and solidarity have created the blueprint for progress. From homeless queers coming together at Stonewall in 1969, to networks of queer people protecting one another from online catfishing in Nigeria today. Kate Bornstein’s essay, ‘When It Comes to Sex and Gender, You’re Right’ even makes an amazing case for how we can prevent divisions within queer communities going forwards – particularly divisions between L, G, B and T.

6. What’re three key messages or three actions do you think everyone can take away from this book?

We still have a lot of work to do to make life better for queer people. There are always people who need our help. There are many things we can actively do to help them.

Some of those things are: Having conversations to shift attitudes (I hope the book equips readers the arguments to do that). Supporting queer people beyond the West, financially and in other ways like sharing their stories or uplifting their voices. And finally, educating ourselves around the needs of disabled, intersex and asexual people, in order to be better allies.